Who should you date based on your Big 5 Personality scores?
Who should you date based on your Big 5 Personality scores?
What is the Big 5?
The Big 5 personality traits are also known as OCEAN, which stands for the five personality factors- openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. If you take a Big 5 personality test, please note that there is no such thing as a “good” personality or score on any of the five factors. Each score represents a space on a continuum that has its own equal benefits and downfalls. Knowing your own scores and the scores of your romantic partner helps you to understand your similarities and differences and how they affect your relationship. Ultimately, your Big 5 personality traits are an important part of compatibility, and understanding them and communicating about them can set you up for success in your relationship. Below is a short description of each of the Big 5 personality traits and how they affect relationship compatibility.
Trait 1- Openness
Description:
Openness (also called openness to experience) is the first personality factor of the Big 5 test. It measures a person’s willingness to try new things and engage in creative and intellectual activities.
High scorers are open people and are typically imaginative, curious, original, and artistic. Open people prefer lots of variety and trying and learning new things. As such, they have a wider range of interests and are curious about many topics. However, they may struggle with follow through on their creative endeavors. Finally, open people struggle to stay grounded and have difficulty handling practical matters.
Low scorers are down to earth, traditional, and practically minded. They often prefer to focus on a narrower range of interests and spend their time on a few things rather than branching out. People low in openness become uncomfortable and struggle when faced with a lot of change and uncertainty. As a result, they prefer what is familiar and known and don’t like to explore different perspectives for the fun of it.
Those who score near the middle are balanced in terms of the traits and don’t show a strong preference either way. They may show aspects of both sides and benefit from the perspectives of both.
Compatibility:
For Big 5 relationship compatibility, it is best if your partner scores relatively close to you in trait openness. When your partner is compatible with you in openness, conversations flow easily as you’re similarly interested in a wide or narrow range of topics and in exploring ideas. It is likely that your interests and favored activities will align more closely as well, thus making planning dates easier. Further, there is a correlation between openness and political attitudes. So, if you are similar in your scores of openness, it is more likely that you will share similar political and world views.
Couples who are not compatible in Big 5 trait openness have scores that are on opposite ends of the spectrum. They have difficulty understanding the way the other person views the world, which causes conflict. A person high in openness often views a person low in openness as closed minded and too conventional. Likewise, a person low in openness often views a person high in openness as unrealistic, a dreamer, or as having their head in the clouds. Both of these perspectives leave the each person feeling unappreciated and misunderstood.
Below is a chart showing compatibility for Big 5 trait openness.
Trait 2- Conscientiousness
Description:
Conscientiousness is the second factor of the Big 5 test. It measures a person’s orderliness and ability to control their impulses and delay gratification for the purpose of achieving goals.
High scorers in conscientiousness are organized organized, disciplined, detail-oriented, and careful. They have a greater need for order and show respect for authority and upholding rules. Also, they have good impulse control, which helps them complete tasks and achieve goals. They are cautious in their actions and they plan carefully for their futures. An easy way to spot someone who is high in conscientiousness is to look at their room. High scorers keep their physical environment neat and tidy. However, taken too far they may struggle with rigidity and have trouble relaxing and enjoying life outside of work.
Low scorers in conscientiousness are free wheeling, carefree, and rebellious. They often do not respect authority and break rules. Low scorers struggle with self discipline, procrastination, and disorganization. They dislike too much structure and want to be open to do as they please in the moment. As a result, they experience difficulty completing tasks and fulfilling goals. When taken too far, lack of consideration for future implications results in careless behavior and mistakes.
Those who score near the middle are balanced in terms of the traits and don’t show a strong preference either way. They may show aspects of both sides and benefit from the perspectives of both.
Compatibility:
For Big 5 relationship compatibility, it is best if your partner scores relatively close to you in regard to trait conscientiousness. When you’re compatible in conscientiousness, you will have an easy time determining how to run a household and how responsibilities should be allocated and prioritized. Compatible couples are similarly bothered by mess, chaos, and disorder. Also, they have similar attitudes towards authority and rules. Two people who are exceptionally low in conscientiousness could quite literally be partners in crime ;).
Couples who are incompatible in Big 5 trait conscientiousness have difficulty understanding the way the other person organizes their life and space, which causes conflict. For example, they may have arguments over how important it is to be on time for an event or how organized and clean the kitchen must be kept. Further, incompatibility in conscientiousness leads to resentment as one partner is more hard working than the other. Both feel misunderstood and unappreciated within this type of relationship.
Below is a chart showing compatibility for Big 5 trait conscientiousness.
Trait 3- Extraversion
Description:
Extraversion is the third factor of the Big 5 test. It measures the degree to which someone draws energy from internal or external sources. It includes assertiveness and comfort with initiating conversations with people in social situations.
High scorers are called extraverts. Extraverts gain energy from interaction with their external environment, particularly the social environment. People perceive them as sociable, outgoing, assertive, and talkative. They feel comfortable in social situations and are less likely to feel embarrassed. Furthermore, extraverts experience higher levels of enthusiasm and overall feelings of positive emotion.
Low scorers are called introverts. Introverts seek less interaction with the external environment, particularly the social environment. While introverts often enjoy social events, they find them tiring and need time to recharge after. On the opposite end of the spectrum, extraverts need time to calm down after social events. Introverts focus inward and need time to think and process before responding. They prefer to be in a responding role and don’t like to initiate with others. People perceive them as reserved and quiet until you get to know them. Furthermore, introverts experience lower levels of enthusiasm and overall positive emotion.
Those who score near the middle are balanced in terms of the traits and don’t show a strong preference either way. Most people are not extreme extroverts or introverts but fall somewhere near the center of the distribution. These are commonly called “ambiverts.” However, please note that this term is not used in the MBTI system which defines people as introverts and extroverts in a different manner.
Compatibility:
For Big 5 relationship compatibility, some variance in extroversion is useful, but extreme variation is difficult to manage. If you and your partner are similar in terms of introversion or extroversion, you naturally agree more on how much social activity you want to engage in as a couple. However, an introvert and extrovert can make a good match together and both learn and benefit from the other’s orientation towards the world. They enjoy their respective roles within the relationship and at social events and be stronger together. It is only when couples are too dissimilar in extraversion (high extrovert and high introvert) conflict arises over lack of understanding and prioritization of self vs group time.
Below is a chart showing compatibility for Big 5 trait extraversion.
Trait 4- Agreeableness
Description:
Agreeableness is the fourth factor of the Big 5 test. It measures how people tend to view and approach relationships with others. It includes measures of politeness and compassion.
High scorers are agreeable. They are more trusting of others and have a sympathetic view of the feelings of other people. Agreeable people are sensitive to the feelings and needs of others and like to be helpful and cooperative. People perceive them as soft-hearted, forgiving, and courteous. However, they may have trouble with saying no to others, people pleasing, and being taken advantage of by others.
Low scorers are disagreeable. They are suspicious of the intentions of others and take a more critical view of people and the world around them. Disagreeable people believe that the feelings and needs of others are their own responsibility. So, they are less likely to be sympathetic or supportive in emotional matters. They have a greater tendency to be harsh or callous and may ignore social niceties for the sake of efficiency.
Those who score near the middle are balanced in terms of the traits and don’t show a strong preference either way. They may show aspects of both sides and benefit from the perspectives of both.
Compatibility:
For Big 5 relationship compatibility, it is best if you and your partner score closely in trait agreeableness. A highly disagreeable partner views a highly agreeable partner as too feely, soft, and naive about intentions of others. Conversely, an agreeable partner views a disagreeable partner as cold, harsh, and untrusting.
However, as long as they are not too dissimilar, they greatly benefit and learn from the perspective of the other. This makes them stronger as a couple than apart. The disagreeable person makes sure the agreeable person does not get taken advantage of and helps them to prioritize themselves. The agreeable person teaches the disagreeable person to be more understanding of the feelings of others and smooths over relationships.
Below is a chart showing compatibility for Big 5 trait agreeableness.
Trait 5- Neuroticism
Description:
Neuroticism is the fifth factor of the Big 5 test. It measures a person’s propensity to experience negative emotions. It accounts for emotional stability and how positively or negatively they perceive events and the world.
High scorers are more sensitive and susceptible to negative emotions like sadness, anxiety, fear, and anger. Their moods shift more quickly than others and can feel and appear volatile. Neurotic people more often feel nervous, high-strung, insecure, or worrying. Their minds are highly attuned to threat detection. As a result, they experience the negative emotions that propel them to action. This makes them sensitive to negative events and possibilities around them which then become amplified in their minds. Ultimately, this trait helps them to be more cautious and aware of danger.
Low scorers in neuroticism have a low proclivity to experience negative emotions like sadness, anxiety, fear and anger. As such, they feel and appear calm, relaxed, and secure. They more often feel self-satisfied and are less likely to experience anxiety, depression, and moodiness. High scorers have high self-esteem and remain resilient. However, because their brains are less attuned to negative events and possibilities, they may easily miss threats in the environment and fail to act.
Those who score near the middle are balanced in terms of the traits and don’t show a strong preference either way. They may show aspects of both sides and benefit from the perspectives of both.
Compatibility:
For Big 5 relationship compatibility, the best match is those who score slightly differently in trait neuroticism. It is common for one person to be a bit more neurotic than the other in a relationship and both benefit from the other’s perspective. The more neurotic person detects threats and the less neurotic person maintains the calm. This relationship offers a balanced perspective between the two. Oftentimes, the more neurotic of the two will call the less neurotic person their “rock” for their ability to remain calm in the storm.
Conversely, if the two people are too similar or dissimilar in trait neuroticism, conflict arises. A person who scores very low in trait neuroticism views someone who scores very high as volatile and overly emotional. Then, the person high in neuroticism feel misunderstood and doesn’t know why their partner can’t see and feel what they can. In the end, both end up stressed by the experience.
Similarly, it is not recommended for two people who score very high or very low in neuroticism to form a relationship as they reinforce each other’s experience of negative emotions and miss important information.
Below is a chart showing compatibility for Big 5 trait neuroticism.
How To Find Someone Who Is Compatible With Your Personality
Now that you understand how Big 5 personality compatibility works, it’s time to put it to the test. TypeMatch is a dating app that matches you by personality type compatibility. We use the Big 5 and MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator) to provide important information about your matches and help you find someone whose mind is built to understand yours. Take our personality quizzes on the website or on the app to learn more about yourself and what types of personalities are compatible with yours. Then, check out who you match with on the app! Download below through the links to the Play Store and App Store.
Take our Free Big 5 Quiz!
