ESFJ Description

Often called “the supporter” or “the consul”, ESFJs care for and support their loved ones and value generosity and social harmony. ESFJs are highly extraverted and enjoy social events as they take on the mood and energy of the group. Socializing allows them to exercise their extraverted feeling and identify with people. ESFJs find it easy to harmonize as part of a group and are often popular in many social circles. They are expressive and genuinely interested in the lives of others and will seek input about how other people feel about things in order to formulate their own judgments. ESFJs socialize and seek input from people indiscriminately as they do not care about social position and treat everyone equally. ESFJs form connections with others through the exchange of feelings. However, they also enjoy sharing logical insights when they’ve had time to think and feel comfortable expressing their thoughts. ESFJs like when others value their thoughts since they are insecure about whether they are correct or not. They have an intellectual and an artistic side that they strive to develop. In order to fully develop these sides, they need to have people around them that listen to what they think and allow the ESFJ to care for them. Above all, ESFJs want to be appreciated and given recognition for all that they do. If they do not receive appreciation, they worry that they are not good people because they have to see that people value them and what they do. ESFJs are traditionalists and have a strong sense of what they should do and of what is just. They believe that good things should come to good people and are sometimes disappointed when the world doesn’t live up to this standard of fairness. They like to carry on traditions and may be sentimental when looking back on memories. ESFJs are often the cornerstone of families and friend groups and do what they can to make people feel cared about and special. For example, an ESFJ may remember that someone particularly enjoyed a type of cake they made and so remember to make it for them on their birthday. They put the desires of others before their own and want to be given the opportunity to do their duty and make others feel good. When taken too far, ESFJs can be self-sacrificing and seen as martyrs. If they feel that they are not receiving the recognition that they deserve, they may resort to guilting others for treating them badly. In relationships, ESFJs look for people with high morals that they can respect and support. They want to have open communication of feelings with their partner and for their partner to make them comfortable and give them a good experience by performing acts of service and giving them gifts. They are extremely loyal to their partner as long as that person appreciates all that the ESFJ does for them. For more on ESFJ relationships and best romantic matches, check our ESFJ Relationships page.